journal

Happy Christmas!
23 Dec 2005
I'm off home to Edinburgh today for a lovely family Christmas but before I go I'd like to leave you with a few renditions of one of my favourite Christmas carols, Silent Night to get you in the festive mood. I think these three versions are rather beautiful and I hope you enjoy them too: Destinys Child (4.3MB), Simon & Garfunkel (4.7MB) and Sinead O'Connor (2.6MB). I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and let's not forget the true meaning of Christmas and what we're celebrating - the birth of Santa!

Gay "Marriages" Finally Become Legal!
21 Dec 2005
It's been something of a landmark week in the world of gay politics - same sex couples can now have their relationship legally recognised. The new civil partnerships are to all intents and purposes a right of marrigae for gay and lesbian couples. Civil partnerships were introduced in in Ireland on Mon, Scotland on Tues and in England & Wales today. In the eyes of the law gay partners can now have the same legal rights in many areas as married couples. Looks like all that money us homos have spent buying wedding presents for our straight mates wasn't in vain after all. Payback time!

365 days and not a single fag has touched my lips!
28 Nov 2005
I’m feeling very self-congratulatory today: in the past year not a single fag has touched my lips, well at least not of the nicotine-laden variety that is! Saucy. I can’t belive that it’s been a whole year since I quit smoking. I haven’t fallen off the wagon and I haven’t even had a single puff. I do still think about smoking, in fact I probably think about the fact that I’m a quitter every day and there are still times when I have small cravings, usually when I’m out drinking and my friends are smoking. I know so many people who have tried unsuccessfully to kick the evil habit so when I first gave up I’m not sure that I rated my chances very high. But I’ve managed to resist all temptations and am rather proud of myself. I do know of people who have given up for longer than a year and gone back to smoking so I realise that I still have to be on my guard, but I reckon that if I’ve come this far, the odds of me remaining smoke-free for ever are looking pretty good. I’ve been very sensible and I’ve been saving my cigarette money which has paid for a holiday to Sitges and my trip to Paris and I still have some savings in the bank. So needless to say I’m a bit of a happy bunny today.

What D'ya Mean, Fugly?
18 Oct 2005
Shocking I know, but I've only just got round to putting up some photos of me from 2004, and it's nearly the end of 2005. To be honest with you, I couldn't actually find enough half-decent photos of me from 2004 so I had to use some that were taken at the beginning of 2005. But I won't tell anyone if you don't. I don't know why but I seem to be half-naked in a few of them. So you must excuse my state of undress.

Bonjour Mon Ami
2 Oct 2005
I was in Paris last week and what a gorgeous city it is. I was there with my gawjis fellah, Chris and we had a lovely time. We went for 3 days and managed to pack in so much. I’d been to Paris before but it was when I was 19 so it was pretty much as if I were going to the city for the first time.

Our hotel was realtively central, near Pigalle and a short walk to Sacre Coeur. It was warm and sunny every day which made it such a pleasure to walk round the city. One of my colleagues is a Parisian and he’d very kindly drawn up an itinerary for us packing in most of the sights. Architecturally, the city reminded of my home town Edinburgh, but on a much grander scale. Paris escaped bombing during the war so much of the city centre is old, classical architecture with very few modern structures to be seen. If you like this style of architecture then you can’t help but love Paris.

On the first day we arrived at the hotel at 1pm, dumped our bags and headed out for a spot of lunch. We then strolled up to Sacre Coeur, which is a large, beautiful white church on top of a hill. The views of the city from here are great and the surrounding area is very quaint. In the evening we found a rather trendy, kitsch, gay restaurant called Le Curieux not far from the Pompidou. The food was Italian and very tasty. After that we headed to the Banana Café. Decorated with bunches of plastic bananas, plastic palm trees and leopard skin prints, and serving up the worst cocktail I’ve ever had, the bar was a bit of a disappointment.

On day 2 we got up early and headed down to Hotel de Ville. We walked along the Seine, and up the Champs-Elysées to the Arc de Triomphe, taking in the Louvre, and having lunch in the Jardins des Tuileries. We were exhausted by this point so we jumped on the metro over to the Eiffel Tower.We got to the tower at about 5pm which was the perfect time for taking photos as the city was bathed in a soft, golden light.
We popped back to the hotel had a quick shower and then headed out for dinner. We found a lovely little French restaurant in the Marais. The menu was written only in French and the waitress didn’t speak any English so it was a bit of a guessing game as to what we were ordering. For my starter, I thought I might end up getting alsation with mustard but it turned out to be pate with salad. Phew.

On the last day we headed down to Notre Dame, had a look inside, wandered over to the Pompidou, stopping to have a toasted panini sitting on a bridge over the Seine. And then it was time to head back to London. Fortunately, Chris didn’t get too bored of me taking photos (260 in total but it would have been more had I not run out of memory) and I’ll be putting the photos up on my photography site in the next week or so.

If you live in or near London, and you haven’t been to Paris then I highly recommend you do. Travelling by Eurostar is so easy – check-in consists of nothing more than passing your ticket through the ticket barrier and flashing your passport. A mere 2.5hrs later and we were in the centre of Paris. And you can get some really cheap deals from lastminute.com. Fantastic.

Two minutes silence to remember
14 Jul 2005
A two minute silence was held today in memory of the vicims of last week's terrorist attack on London. I work near Kings Cross station, where one of the bombs exploded on the tube, so headed down to the station with my colleagues to pay my respects. There was a huge crowd of people there. In front of Kings Cross is a busy and usually very noisy intersection where 3 main roads meet each other but at 12pm the traffic came to a halt, all engines were switched off and an eerie and heavy silence descended as hundreds paid their respects to the dead. The only sound that could be heard was the clicking of the camera's of the international media.

Terrorist Attacks in London
7 Jul 2005
Today saw the biggest terrorist attacks on London ever - in the space of an hour four bombs exploded in various locations in central London and have so far killed at least 37 people and injured 700 others. Two of the bombs were within walking distance of my office.

When I left for work this morning, the Northern line was suspended at my end of the line so I jumped on the overground train to Victoria. I was just about to enter Victoria underground station when there was an announcement that Kings Cross and Euston stations were closed due to a power surge. Thirty seconds later there was an announcment that all lines had been suspended. I assumed they must have meant all underground lines that went from Victoria as it would be very unusual that a power surge on one line would shut down the whole network across the whole of London. I had to get a bus across central London and got off just before Euston station.

It should have been a 15 minute walk to my office in Kings Cross but something strange was going on near Euston. There were police cars, ambulances and fire engines zooming pass and there was a helicopter hovering overhead. Euston Road was jammed with traffic and there were hundreds of people milling around in the streets trying to make their way to Euston and Kings Cross. Passengers were being turned out of the buses and it wasn’t until I’d walked along a bit to Euston Station that I saw that the road from Euston Station, all the way along to Kings Cross station, had been cordoned off by the police. Looking up the street that leads to Russell Square, about 150 yards in front of me, I could see emergency workers kneeling down on the pavements tending to what I assumed were casualties of some sort of accident, but I didn’t know how that related to the power surges at Kings Cross. I soon came to the conclusion that all this emergency activity could only mean one thing – a terrorist attack on London.

There was no way I could get through to my office so I went to find a pub with a TV to see what was happening. I was shocked to hear that there had been a series of bombs during rush hour in central London and that I’d arrived only 15 minutes after the bus-bomb at Russell Square and those were the victims that I had seen being tended to. I’d also been looking at the remains of the bombed out bus but didn’t realise it at the time.

Being so close to where two bombs had just exploded was such a scary and surreal experience. I felt like I’d walked onto the set of a movie and even tonight I still can’t believe that what happened this morning was for real. I normally get to Kings Cross station for 9am: the bomb exploded on the underground just outside Kings Cross station at 8.56 and 21 people have so far died. This is the first time that I’ve been grateful for delays on the tube.

The last bombings in London were the nail bombs of 1999. One of these exploded in a gay bar in the heart of Soho. That was scary as I could so easily have been there or walking past. But this morning was more scary as I was actually only a couple of hundred yards away from the scene, 15mins after the bombing.

What is quite clear is that anyone and anything could be a target – these were soft civilian targets which makes this a particularly barbaric and cowardly form of terrorism.

Y Viva España
16 Jun 2005
It’s 3.30am and my friend has just rung me to wake me up. A cab is coming in an hour to whisk me of to sunny, sunny Spain. I’m going on holiday to Sitges for a week with my mate Matt and am very excited. It hasn’t been without stress though – only last week I discovered that my passport had been stolen when I was broken into at the end of last year. I had to pay a visit to the passport office and the long and short of things was that my passport wasn’t guaranteed to arrive until tomorrow. Fortunately, they processed it quickly and all is now fine and dandy. To help me get in the mood I’ve been playing Y Viva España.mp3.

Sitges is a beautiful small Spanish town on the Catalonian coastline, only 40km from Barcelona. I’ve been before and really enjoyed it. It is reknowened for it’s gay scene, which I didn’t really go on the last time I went, so still have that to discover. It’s a mere 30min train journey to Barcelona so I shall be paying that fine city a visit on at least a couple of the days. Sitges is a great place for a holiday as it’s clean, has good restaurants, a large gay scene, nice beaches and its proximity to Barcelona allows for a combination of sun, sea, sand and culture.

Got an iPod? Shut the fuck up!
16 May 2005
Listening to second-hand music spewing out of someone's earphones really gets on my tits. Since the iPod became the aspirational mp3 player of 2004/2005 (everyone seemed to get one last xmas) there's been a drastic increase in the amount of annoying twats on public transport. The problem lies with the earphones - they're badly designed and don't keep the music in. If you’re on the tube and hear someone's music, there’s now a very good chance that the source will be a pair of white earphones with a grey stripe where the phone meets the cable. If you're very unfortunate like me then you'll find yourself in the middle of a noise-pollution triangle, with a twatty iPodder at each corner.

If you like to listen to your music in public then there’s a simple test you can perform to ascertain if your music is too loud: with your music playing at the desired level, place two fingers lightly over each earphone speaker. This will give you an idea of how much sound will leak out when you have them in your ears. As simple as that. Please give it a go and make tube-life a bit more bearable for those of us trying to read our books. I'd also like to take this opportunity to remind those selfish fuckers who listen to music too loudly on public transport, of the generic name for portable music systems with head/earphones attached: Personal Stereos.

Miserable Human Resources
27 Mar 2005
We all know that we're not meant to use our work email system for personal use but the HR manager at my workplace seems to have taken this a bit far. Recently, I sent out an email to about 30 people I work with telling them about the hungersite. Unbeknown to me, the HR manager was on the distribution list I sent it to and she replied to the list with the following:

"Several requests for donations and support for charities are being circulated by members of staff via the internal email system. While the company is deeply sympathetic with the fundraising efforts, a moment's reflection will, I am sure, lead employees to realise that it is not appropriate to use the company's communications system for such activities."

Miserable or what?

Not Another Puff, Ever!
27 Feb 2005
After 15 years of smoking, I puffed my way through my last cigarette on Sun 28 Nov 2004. Three months down the line, I have completed my nicotine-replacement therapy and am now officially a non-smoker. How fantastic is that?

It was my first pop at quitting and it probably wasn't the best time of the year to try to give up smoking, but I managed to survive all the Christmas booze and emerge into the new year smelling like a daisy.

I have several friends who have tried giving up and failed so I didn't rate my chances as being very high, but rather than use them as my inspiration I used my mother as my Muse. After about 40 years of hardcore smoking (she could easily get through 40 fags on a Sat night) Ma decided to quit and has been smoke-free for 3 years now. So whenever I was doubting whether I could make it I reminded myself that my mother made it first time and therefore so could I.

There have been tough moments but it's been nowhere near as hard as I imagined it would be. On a daily basis, I no longer crave cigarettes, but my mouth now craves constant attention. If I’m not eating something, then I’m drinking something or I’m chewing gum. I can see why a lot of people gain weight after quitting. Now my daily battle isn't against smoking it's against eating.

I decided to give up primarily for future health reasons and had been thinking about quitting for sometime. I’d decided that when I did quit that I’d save my smoking money in a jar and that this would form the basis of my flat fund (money which I’d use to pay the upfront fees incurred when I eventually bought my first flat). I’ve been true to my word and have already banked £450.

I didn’t imagine I’d make it this far and have shown to myself that I perhaps have more resolve than I initially thought. I know I’m not out of the woods and I reckon it will be a long time before smoking and cigarettes are completely out of my thoughts. But I’ve made it through the toughest bit and I’m damned well determined to make it all the way. Not another puff, ever!

PWL @ G.A.Y
30 Jan 2005
This weekend saw me dragged, kicking and screaming to the launch night for the new PWL internet radio station at GAY. For those of you who don’t know, PWL is Pete Waterman’s record label. Peter Waterman was part of Stock, Aitken and Waterman who were responsible for defining a generation of absolutely trashy pop music in the 80s with the likes of Dead or Alive, Big Fun, Bananarama, Dollar, Brother Beyond, Mel and Kim, Pepsi & Shirlie, Pat & Mick, Sinitta and of course Kylie.

The PWL paleontologists had been hard at work to provide us with a wrinkle-creased line up comprising Hazel Dean, Jason Donovan, Sonia and Sybil. The performances were pretty decent and Jason Donovan made the extra effort to do some acoustic numbers before performing Especially for You with the surprise guest Denise van Outen. Woo, what a lovely surprise.

Sybil was the last to perform at 3am and when she sang The Love I Lost, I was transported back 10 years to the summer of 1994 and a night in the same club. I’d just moved down to London and my boyfriend Chris had come down to visit me. We were in GAY and that song came on. I don’t know why, and I don’t know if he’s aware of this, but since then I’ve always associated that song with him and it always brings back some very happy memories.

As well as the acts, SAW music was played all night and I’d forgotten just how much stuff and nonsense that record label had churned out over the past 20 years or so. It was a great night and all the old classics were played, although I was mightily disappointed that they didn’t play Brother Beyond’s, The Harder I Try.

I’ve just been looking up some of the old SAW tracks on the internet and I’m gob smacked to find that Sinitta’s, So Macho came out 20 years ago. I remember my sister cajoling my 12yo girlfriend Steph to sing this to me at a party. Oh my God, I’m so old!!!

Nuts or what?
20 Jan 2005
I bought a bag of peanuts the other day and had a look at the label which made me laugh. I wonder just how many nut-allergy sufferers this has saved from certain death.

Happy New Year!
02 Jan 2005
I trust you all had a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. I spent a week with my family in Edinburgh for Xmas then came back down to London to spend Hogmanay with my friends. As I hadn’t been home for a year it was nice to see the family again. For Xmas lunch there was me, my mum, my sister Tracy, her 6yo son Aaron, and Peter, Aaron’s dad. We went to the Roxburgh Hotel and the food was lovely and there was plenty of it. After that it was back to my mum’s house where Tracy, Peter and my brother Andrew subjected us to karaoke for about 3 hours. I never sing, because I can’t but I was made to sing in a competition that my nephew was the judge of. He randomly chose ‘I’m Too Sexy’ by Right Said Fred and I completely murdered it. But my nephew thought otherwise, decided I was the Karaoke King and ceremoniously awarded me 6 crisps.

I spent Hogmanay with some mates in Clapham. After toying with the idea of going out in Soho, we decided to keep it local and spent the night in the 2 Brewers. It was packed and a good laugh but a bit of a rip off at £20 if you’d arrived after 10pm.

All in all it was a relatively quiet, relaxing and sober Festive period this year. As always there are a few photos to mark the occassion.

Gay Bashing Alive & Kicking in Central London
06 Nov 2004
A 37 year old gay man was murdered last weekend in Central London. David Morley was beaten to death on the South Bank and the police are treating his murder as being motivated by homophobia. This was the second time David was a victim of a homophobic attack but unfortunately he didn’t survive this one. He was working at the Admiral Duncan pub in 1999 when a nail bomb exploded killing 3 people and injuring 73 others.

Since I came out, 15 years ago, society has come a long way in its acceptance of homosexuality. I thought society had managed to quash intense homophobic attitudes and that gay bashing had been pretty much consigned to the rubbish bin of history. But there’s no more extreme form of gay bashing than gay murder. That this homophobic murder happened in London, an international gay mecca and the most cosmopolitan and open-minded city in Britain, should serve as a bit of a wake up call for us all.

Gay people learn to surround themselves with liberal minded people and quickly learn which places to avoid. We create a safe haven around us, gravitate towards tolerant people and work places, hang out in safe areas of towns and socialise in gay venues or gay-friendly places. Having created such a safe haven it can be quite easy to think that the world around us isn't such a bad place for gay people after all.

That someone can feel such hatred to another human being simple because of who they choose to sleep with is beyond comprehension for me. Where does such hatred, for a group of people who don’t even impinge on your life, stem from?

It's clear that we all still need to do our bit to challenge homophobia and help stamp it out. The next time someone says something homophobic, even if its only mildly homophobic, don’t let it pass, and don’t feel embarrassed that you might be causing a scene, challenge them and tell them that what they said was offensive and unacceptable. Every little helps.

Visit From a 25 Year Old Naval Officer
12 Aug 2004
I recently had a great time playing host to a 25 year old Australian naval officer for a couple of weeks. But don’t get too excited, it wasn’t some random chance encounter, it was my mate Dan who I met when I went to Sydney a few years ago (and no, I don’t have any photos of him in his uniform). It was great to see Dan after 3.5 years and we had a fab time together. We packed a lot in and it was very refreshing, after 10 years of living in London, to see it afresh through his eyes. It’s easy to take this fab city for granted when you live and work in it but boy, does London rock. He had a great time and was very impressed with the Big Smog – it’s fantastic architecture and sights, and the hustle and bustle of Soho.

It was great to hang out together again and I was quite sad to see him go. But duty called and he had to go back to active duty in the Middle East. Now we all know that the first day back after a holiday is always a downer, but how much of a downer must it have been for poor Dan who had to go back to active duty in Iraq? I can’t help but worry for him every time I hear of another bombing in Baghdad. And if I were religious I’d be praying to Allah for his safe return. Take care of yourself Dan, you’re always more than welcome to crash in my bachelor pad – but no climbing on the roof next time :-)

Message to Straight Guys on Public Transport – Shut Your Bloody Legs
18 Jul 2004
I don't know why, but for some reason straight boys feel the need to keep their knees at least 3ft apart while on public transport. They don't seem to give a shit that the space next to them on a bus, train or tube is meant to accommodate another person. I once had a friend who was a prosthetist and orthotist and one of her clients had a scrotum that was 23 inches in circumference – this is perhaps an instance where such behaviour is justifiable.

For those boys amongst you that have a problem understanding the etiquette of public transport, there is usually a demarcation that runs at zero degrees between you and the person next to you, and that is the line that your leg shouldn't cross. Pretending that your balls are so full of testosterone that you need to keep your legs open wider than this doesn't really fool anyone. So unless your in need of a scrotal harness I'd like to suggest that you show a bit of consideration and keep your bloody legs shut.

D-Day Commemorations
08 June 2004
This weekend saw the commemorations to mark the sixtieth anniversary of D-Day. My knowledge of World War II is very limited but the BBC screened a fascinating docu-drama about the build-up and execution of the invasion of the Normandy coast by allied forces. However it did leave me mightily sad. It was so depressing to see so many very young men, many of them teenagers or in their early twenties (younger than my oldest nephew is now) obliterated off the face of the Earth. But what really saddened me was that this was all caused by human beings, that this was all necessary because of the ability of human beings to inflict such atrocities on each other for the sake of power and control.

Up until recently I had little interest in either of the world wars. I think I used to view stories of the war simply as that, stories. But since reading Sebastian Faulk's, Birdsong I'm starting to see it all as it really is, someone else's past reality. Yeah, stupid of me I know. In a way, none of it registered as being real it was just another story from a bygone age. But I'm now starting to feel the reality of it all. I think I'm finally starting to appreciate the sacrifices made by my grandparents' generation and I now have the utmost respect, appreciation and admiration for those who helped secure my liberty.

Big Brother 5
30 May 2004
It's that time of year again for yet another Big Brother. Many people think it's old hat and are surprised that they're doing another one but just have a look around, there's more old hats on telly than the queen mum's milliner could shake the proverbial stick at. Apparently Big Brother is getting evil this year which should provide a bit more interesting TV than previous years. And I love the way they've deliberately picked people to aggravate each other. The first person to go in had to be the campest, most annoying gay man alive, who didn't like refugees and immigrants. He was closely followed by a homophobic, islamic refugee. The quota of gays in the house is rather high this year with two openly gay men and and a staunchly feminist lesbian. God, wasn't she a right old knob? In fact, most of the contestants were right old knobs, and all seemed a bit full of themselves. But I suppose it's a marked improvement on all the nice people who got on really well with each other in the past series. Here's hoping that life in the Big Brother house this year will be a slightly more torrid affair.

Gran Canaria 2004
23 May 2004
I've just been for a week in Gran Canaria with my mate Matt and had a gay old time. Gran Canaria's not exactly reknowned for it's culture so it was a week of sunbathing and partying, which was exactly why we went. We were staying pretty much on top of the Yumbo centre, in Playa Del Ingles, which is the main gay complex with lots of bars and clubs. The weather was just what the doctor ordered - clear blue skies, and temperatures in the upper twenties with a light breeze to stop you getting too hot while worshipping the great god Sol. The bars and clubs were a bit quite at the beginning of the week but it all picked up come Thursday. Heaven had opened up a club since I was last there in 2001 and it was pretty classy in comparison to the other clubs, but they are the only club that charges an entrance fee - London attitude or what? It was gay pride on the Fri and Sat when we were treated to a veritable feast of cabaret including Hazel Dean (ruff old bird in cheap H&M blouse), Sinita (fashion sense stuck in the 80s), Katrina (waveless) but the highlight must have been the fabulously camp Boney M. Could you get any gayer? Everyone was really friendly and Matt and I made some lovely holiday friends while there - big shout to the lovely Aberdonian hairdressers! If you fancy yourself as a bit of a disco bunny and want a cheap week of guaranteed sunshine then I'd highly recommend a trip to Gran Canaria - definitely not one for the tea-total culture-vultures.

Every holiday has to have a holiday song and I'm glad to say that despite all the cheesy pop songs that were bombarded at me on holiday, the one that I've come back with in my head is No More Drama by Mary J Blige. It's a couple of years old now but I had a fab time dancing to this.

Spring Has Sprung and the Saps Arising
26 Apr 2004
What a fantastic weekend it's been. Summer has come early to the Big Smog and what a lovely, relaxing weekend I've just had. I spent the whole of Saturday sitting by the river Thames down at Richmond. My friend Neil and I grabbed a picnic lunch and a couple of bottles of wine and headed down among the throng of scantily-clad sun worshippers where we sat all day watching the world go by. We then rounded the day off with dinner and a few more drinks. Sunday was a similar affair. After a rather sweaty workout, due to the lack of air-conditioning in my gym, my mate Matt and I headed up to Clapham Common with a piping hot quiche (I kid you not) where we lounged around for a couple of hours. This gorgeous weather really put us in the mood for our upcoming holiday to Gran Canaria and we were getting a bit excited imaginging the antics we might get up to while there. We then ended the day with a few drinks outside the Kazbar. It was a very chilled and lovely weekend, and surprisingly not a discothéque in sight.

New Photos of Me
25 Mar 2004
It's been over a year since I last uploaded some photos so I reckon it's about time that I unveiled the extra-wrinkled version of me. So here you are, a small selection of photos from 2003 for your perusal.

I've also recently added a new page listing my favourite current songs which are linked to the mp3s for you to download. These are the songs that I've been playing over and over again. I will update this every time a new tune grabs hold of me. I hope you enjoy listening to these as much as I have.

Happy Belated New Year!
20 Jan 2004
How rude of me to wait so long before wishing you all well but it’s taken me that length of time to get over my hangover. My festive period was pretty good – I was back in Edinburgh for a family Xmas which was really nice. For the past few years we’ve gone out for Xmas lunch but this year we stayed at home at my Ma’s and I was a very kind and dutiful son and cooked for the six of us. And can I just say that the veg was cooked to a T, despite the rumours that my big sister might be circulating! We consumed vast amounts of cocktails (well, my sister and I did), had a drunken game of twister and they even made me sing on the karaoke machine (and it didn’t go unnoticed that they only made me sing the once). I came back down to London for Hogmanay and spent it with a few mates in the Two Brewers in Clapham and had a great night.

A few people have asked me if I’ve made any resolutions for the new year. Personally, I don’t see the point in them. The way I see it is if you want to change something in your life then you should just go ahead and do it – and if the only thing prompting you into change is the date, then there’s probably little chance of you sticking it out. It was quite funny to see the huge queue of new members at the gym after new year, all of whom were undoubtedly well-intentioned, but you could just tell that after a couple of weeks they were going to crumble under the weight of a pork pie.

I did make one major resolution during 2003 and it was rather a big one for me. I decided it was time to get down the gym, get fit and get rid of the issue I had, which had plagued me since I was a teenager, about my belly being fat. After a lot of hard work and determination I can now very gladly say that I’ve completely obliterated that one. I have since been found parading around the beaches of Mykonos wearing nothing but a pair of skimpy, bright-yellow speedos! How’s that for a turnaround? I’m still plugging away at the gym and I’m still enjoying it, and if anything, I’m inclining to go a bit more. So hopefully come summertime this year I’ll have more confidence in the way I look. But don’t worry, you ain’t going to see me strutting around in a dayglo pink thong (well not until my mate gives me the name of his spandex supplier, only joking Neil!).

Ho! Ho! Ho!
21 Dec 2003
Blimey, it's that time of the year again. Seems like only a few months ago that I was last roasting my chestnuts over an open storage heater! I'm off to Bonnie Scotland tomorrow to spend Xmas with my family which I'm really looking forward to. We usually go out for Xmas lunch but this year we're going to have a more informal affair in my mum's house, which should be nice and means I can help out with the cooking – so I won't have to suffer sprouts that have been boiled for 3 days. What with us being a Scottish family there will no doubt be a few sherries downed that day. My only hope is that I don't embarrass myself like I did last year by singing karaoke. I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas and may Santa's sack be plentiful. And Chris B if you're reading this, please get in touch as I've lost your number.

For a bit of unfestive festive cheer you have to watch Tramp o Claus – it's fab!

Friends Reunited
23 Nov 2003
The past few weeks have been a time of reunion for me, the highlight being a visit from my mate James who was over from Sydney. We’ve been best mates since we met in Freshers’ Week at Glasgow Uni 13 years ago but he now lives in Sydney. I hadn’t seen him for about a year and a half so it was great to see him again. He was only in the UK for a week but we managed to cram in quite a lot. We had a mad clubbing weekend in London and managed to get to Element, Crash, the Vauxhall Tavern and LA3, all in the space of 2 days. It was a bit of a mental weekend but we had an excellent time and somehow managed to get away with the excesses, scot-free.

I met up with him again the following weekend at a wedding in Glasgow. Two friends of ours from Uni, Steven and Laura, had decided, after 10 years together, to finally get hitched. Congratulations guys, you make a great couple. Also at the wedding were a few old friends who I hadn’t seen for a while and who I’d lost touch with. During that same weekend I also managed to catch up with another friend, Chris in Edinburgh, who I hadn’t seen for about 3 years. It was so lovely to see him again, especially as he treated me to an evening in the very grand health suite at the Sheraton hotel. Thanks mate.

While up in Scotland I spent a few days at home with my mum. I also managed to catch up with my brother and sister, and my two nephews. I hadn’t been back home since last Christmas so it was great to see all of them. But these weren’t the only reunions in the past month. About a month ago I got a call from my wee cousin Emma, who I hadn’t seen since I was a kid. She was coming to London and wanted to know if I'd like to meet up with her. We met for lunch in All Bar One in Leicester Square, but to be honest there was more wine drunk than food eaten. She made me drag her up to Soho and we ended up in the Edge just a little bit tipsy and we had a good laugh.

Seeing my old mates again has left me feeling a bit sentimental, having been reminded why these guys were friends in the first place, cos they're all lovely people. I’ve vowed to myself to make more of an effort to keep in touch so I’ve got a message for James — love you mate and I'll definitely make more of an effort to phone, no honest I will; Sandy — I’ll definitely be coming to visit you for that weekend in Copenhagen as long as you promise to do something about the shine on your noggin; Shug — how about me, you and Rosie meet up for dinner sometime? strawberry-bald, I love it; Chris — looking forward to seeing you when I'm back in Edinburgh for Christmas.

Tanned and Toned in Mykonos
26 Sep 2003
I've just been on holiday with my mate David to the Greek island of Mykonos and had a fab time. We were quiet fortunate to bump into a couple of guys from London who were in the same apartments as us and we hung out with them for the week. There were also quite a few familiar faces from London knocking around the town. It's a small gay world I'll tell you.

Mykonos Town is a gorgeous whitewashed town with narrow, winding streets. The streets are so narrow that no traffic can get through and one street I came across was only about three foot wide. The streets are lined with tiny boutiques, many of them selling jewellery, designer clothes and lots of tourist tat. There are also hundreds of tiny Greek churches which are beautiful. And if you thought that catholic religious iconography was kitsch then wait til you see the Greek Orthodox stuff.

As the beaches were on the opposite side of the island, we braved the dirt track roads and psycho Greek drivers in a hired jeep. I only made it to a couple of the beaches, Super Paradise, which is the main gay beach and Elia, which is a slightly smaller beach. The beaches weren't that impressive but they were ok. The rest of the days were spent around the pool recovering from the night before, or meandering through town. However, I did manage to fit in a bit of Greek history on a guided tour of the island of Delos. The ancient ruins are pretty impressive with some of them dating back to the third millennium BC. Delos is encircled by the other 50 or so islands, hence the term Cycladic Islands. According to mythology it was the birth place of Apollo and is thus the most holy of the islands. Interestingly, because of its purity, laws were passed stating that noone could be born or die there. So anyone who was pregnant or ill was turfed off.

In the evening we'd hit the bars which started getting lively around midnight. Mykonos has a nice little gay scene with about eight bars but no proper clubs. But you could still have a wee boogie in some of the bars. My favourite bars were Porta, where the boys spilled out and lined the narrow winding street outside, and Pierros which had a little square in front of it, where I whiled away the balmy evenings mingling with the beautiful boys. Pierros closed at 4am and on a few of the nights I headed over to the Yacht Club which was open until midday I think, although 8.30 was the latest I ever managed. I met lots of really friendly guys there and we had such a laugh. And each night we recruited more drinking buddies to our little posse.

The only downside to Mykonos are the prices. It costs about £5 for a drink in a bar, but all in all it was a really good holiday and I'd highly recommend it. Of course, I took lots of photos. Visit my photography site to see them.

Brighton Pride - now that's better!
10 Aug 2003
Went to Brighton Pride for the first time yesterday and had a fab day. In contrast to the commercial venture that is London Mardi Gras, Brighton Pride is still a community thing and entry is by donation. The weather was glorious with temperatures up around 30C and the sun was relentless all day. I went down with my friend Tom, and we got down about 2pm and the party was in full swing. There were a few flamboyant dresses kicking around but most people were dressed for the weather ie there was a lot of scantily clad men around - some fit, and some... well let's just say, not so fit. I met up with my mate David and bumped into a few familiar faces from London which was nice. After the park we went for a couple of drinks at the Amsterdam hotel down on the promenade, then finished the day off with a visit to the fish and chip shop (which almost resulted in us missing our last train to London). Perfect!

I have to say that the whole thing was much better than London Pride - there were the same number of dance tents (including a Popstarz tent) a fun fair, you didn't have to queue for ages to buy those stupid drinks tokens, and the queues in the bar tents were very small. There was no main stage like there is at London Mardi Gras (but who cares about the Cheeky Girls anyway?), but they did have a large drag tent with stuff going on all day. The whole feel to the place was much more friendly than London, with a lot more women and a lot more kiddies and dogs kicking about. It was my first time to Brighton Pride and I'll definitely be going again. If you haven't been before then it's definitely worth checking out.

Brighton rocks
14 Jul 2003
What a lovely birthday I had this year. I got lots of lovely gifts - books, cds, alcohol, clothes, games and money - and had a lovely evening with my lovely friends. We all met up for some pre-dinner wine in the Sanctuary, then had Italian for dinner. We then rounded off the evening with more drinks in the Yard and the Edge in Soho. It was such a nice night and all very civilised. Thanks guys for my pressies and thanks for making it a great birthday. As a little present to myself I bought a Playstation 2. I haven't had a games console for years and it's excellent. But don't worry, I'm not about to lock myself in a darkened room, order pizza and play games for weeks on end.

The weather in London over the past few days has been scorching and I thought a trip to the seaside was in order. So yesterday I went down to Brighton and had a smashing time. We had a big picnic lunch in the gardens of the Royal Pavillion, then went for a long stroll along the beach-front to the marina. Then after a spot of sunbathing we finshed the day with a couple of glasses of ice cold Pimms and lemonade. Perfect! The beach is a bit pants, as it's all pebbles, well apart from the patch where someone has imported about 50 square feet of sand, but Brighton is a pretty cool little town with some quaint little lanes and some trendy bars and restaurants. And of course, we can't forget good old Brigton pier with it's fun fayre and it's full english breakfast made out of rock on a paper plate. But don't you think that the end of a pier is such a strange place to put a roller coaster?

Happy 31st Birthday to Me - 4 July 2003!
04 Jul 2003
Can't believe yet another year has flown by. I've just got used to being thirty and now I've got to remember that I'm now thirty one. At the rate things are going it won't be long before I'm forty - what a scary thought.

Chelsea Flower Show
02 Jun 2003
The past month has been very busy but very enjoyable. Besides the usual rounds of drinking with friends, clubbing and the gym, there's be lots more going on. One of the highlights was my visit to the Chelsea Flower Show. If you're into flowers and plants then you should pay it a visit next year. The plants and flowers were spectacular. Of course my camera came with me and I managed to get lots of beautiful photos of flowers and plants.
Went to see Nina Conti who was headlining at the Comedy Camp. She won BBC Talent New Comedy Award for 2002 and she was hilarious. She's a ventriloquist act with a very endearing and dirty monkey as her sidekick - go see her if you get the chance.
A friend and I paid a visit to Vinopolis for some wine tasting. Their audio tour takes you through the different wine regions of the world and tells you all about the how, where and why of wine making. There are four wine tasting tables where you can sample wines from all over the world. I was brave and sampled an English wine and a Chinese chardonnay - not to be recommended. Tickets are only £12 and if you like a glass of plonk I'd recommended paying it a visit.
My bank holiday weekend was a relatively civilised affair. I cooked lunch for a friend on the Sat, and then went round to a friend's for dinner in the evening. Then on the Sun I met up with some friends for drinks and a bit of a boogie. All very pleasant.
This weekend has been great too. I got up early on Sat and went to the gym, then met my friend David in Hyde Park in the afternoon. The weather was glorious and we had a lovely walk round Kensington Gardens then did a bit of sunbathing in Hyde Park. There was a lot of eye candy around, which is always a welcome treat. Then on Sat night we went to Crash in Vauxhall. I'd never been to this club before and was pleasantly surprised. In the main room they played the harder end of house, but in the smaller room there was some really funky house going on. Great night. And for all you muscle-lovers, the place was heaving with pumped up daddies. So all-in-all it's been a very interesting and happy month.

Hooray, Hooray, it's a holi, holiday!
05 May 2003
It's been quite an eventful past month or so. Went to see Simply Heavenly at the Young Vic, which was just brilliant. It's a blues/jazz musical set in 1950's harlem. The score was great and the singing was just top quality. I'd highly recommend it. I also went to see Throat at the Drill Hall which can only be described as an erotic dance performance which concluded with a very fit, sexy man, wearing nothing but white pants flailing around in water then gyrating on a rope suspended from the ceiling as a torrent of water rushed over him. Sounds like a porno doesn't it? But I assure you it was all very respectable and done in the name of art, of course.
My mate Creina turned 30 and came over to London to celebrate it. We all went out for dinner then ended the evening in Heaven, which I hadn't been to for years. It was so nice to see her as I hadn't seen her for about a year and a half. She'd been in Oz for a year then went back home to Ireland when she got back. She's emigrating to Brisbane in the Summer which is sad. Creina, can't believe I'm only going see you one more time before you go for good.
I finally met up with Trunkguy for some dinner and drinks in Soho. I'd been chatting to Keith online for months and almost had him as a colleague so it was lovely to finally meet him in the flesh. Lovely chap.
After living in London for almost 9 years, I finally got round to paying a visit to Kew Gardens in Richmond. It was a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon and a friend and I took a picnic with us. After a nice relaxing lunch, we got the cameras out and went a bit trigger happy. Kew Gardens is huge and is a lovely place, with some very beautiful and unusual plants in the various glass houses. There are some photos on my photography site.
The Easter weekend was great, I didn't do much constructive with my time but spent most of it in pubs and clubs with friends. My friend Neil cooked me a lovely lunch on Easter Monday, after which we went for a massive walk around Wimbledon Common. And not a single whiff of a womble. And now it's a bank holiday weekend again. Oh what's a boy to do with all this free time?

Spring has sprung
28 Mar 2003
It's been a while since my last update and the past couple of months have been quite eventful. I've been to the theatre quite a bit. Went to see Sleeping Beauty, Ennio Marchetto, the Men in Coats and Bombay Dreams. A friend of mine is the understudy for the part of Sweety, which is one of the three main roles in Bombay Dreams. He was standing-in on the night we went and it was brilliant to see him acting on a big London stage. Well done Stephen.
I've experienced quite a significant lifestyle change in the past month - I joined the gym. A couple of people laughed when I told them that, but I suppose the thought of me doing exercise does seem quite funny. I've been going a couple of times a week and, surprisingly, I'm quite enjoying it. I hope that feeling lasts - I quite fancy a nice nice trim bod for the summer.
I finally got a new digital camera, which I'm very excited about. It's a Canon G1 which I got second hand and it was such a bargain, and you know how I like my bargains. It's got all the features of an SLR which means I've got full control over my photography now. I've only been out with it once so far, but managed to get a few nice photos of buds and flowers, a couple of which are on my photography site. And now that spring is here, there will be plenty more opportunities to get my creative juices flowing.

New Photos of Me
04 Jan 2003
I figured it was about time that I added some fresh photos of me to this site. I reckoned that because I turned thirty this year you'd all want to see for yourself how well I'm ageing. And just look, I don't look a day over 21. Oh I wish. But hey, I might not be a spring chicken anymore, but I'm certainly no scabby old turkey (yet). The photos were all taken at some point in 2002. And please, no dribbling!

Edinburgh at Christmas
30 Dec 2002
I had a great Christmas spent at home with my family - I ate loads, slept loads and of course, drank more than my fair share. About ten of us went out for Christmas lunch and the food was really nice, and so was the bottle of wine that I unashamedly ordered for myself. We then went to my wee cousin's house in the evening, and I think I must have drunk about a bottle of Bacardi. Ooops! Even my brother thought I was pissed, and that's saying something. And I was also singing on the karaoke which meant I must have been well trashed. Well, it only happens once a year. Edinburgh looks fantastic at night especially at Christmas and I took a few photos just to prove it.

I'm back in London now and think I'm going to celebrate Hogmanay at a party with some friends which should be good too. I've taken a few days holiday as I'm Scottish so I'll need them to recover from the celbrations. Hope you all had a great Xmas and that you have a fantastic new year!

Merry Xmas Everyone
22 Dec 2002
I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas a a great new year. I'm off home to bonnie Scotland to share Xmas with my family but will be back down in London for the new year and intend on having a great time. I hope you do too.

New Flat Finalised
13 Nov 2002
We've now signed for a gorgeous new flat at Tooting Bec. After a stressful week of looking at over 20 places we managed to get the best one that we saw. It was touch and go for a day but it all came through. I'm so excited about moving in. The owner lives there at the moment so it's been decorated and furnished to quite a high standard. Very nice. I'll no longer be ashamed to have people around. Andrew and I are moving in at the end of the month so that gives me a couple of weeks to pack. Boring! Anyone want to volunteer to help? Hmm, thought not.

On the work front, I've just spent today at an intranet usability seminar given by the usability guru, Jakob Neilson. I got some very useful ideas from it, and can't wait to put some of them into practice. Grand ideas abound!

On the Move Again
10 Nov 2002
October was a relatively quiet month for me, socially at least.That doesn't mean that I haven't been going out and getting outrageously drunk, just not as much as usual. I had some very good news at the end of September, I got promoted at work. I was very pleased with that and now have the grand title of Senior Producer. The few extra pennies will come in handy especially as I'm about to move flat, again. I'm moving with my friend and flatmate Andrew and we're hoping to go somewhat "upmarket" which will of course mean having to shell out lots of extra hard-earned cash. We've seen a fantastic flat and are hoping that it won't be gone when we contact the agents on Monday morning. The flat is in Tooting Bec in a new development, which is very nice, and the decor and furniture are great. Fingers crossed. So it's time to start collecting cardboard boxes and start packing. Boring! I hate moving and can't wait for the day that I can afford my own place. Yeah right, like that's ever gone happen with the state of the property market in London.

I added my holiday photos of Barcelona and Sitges to my photography site, so check them out. You know that I like to give you a new photo with each update and I thought you might appreciate these outrageously phallic toadstools that I spied on Tooting Bec Common - saucy!

Soft Caramel Skin Tones
22 Sep 2002
I got back on Wed night from ten glorious days in Sitges where I had a great time. It wasn't quite as manic and excessive as Gran Canaria but it was a lot prettier and a bit more relaxing. Sitges itself is a lovely little seaside town 30mins train ride from Barcelona. It's managed to remain unspoilt and has the feel of a working and residential town rather than a concrete resort. It seemed that Sitges was to Barcelona, what Brighton is to London. There are lots of nice restaurants, cool shops and quaint winding streets. I made it up to Barcelona on a couple of those days and even bumped into one of my good friends in the street. Very weird: I didn't even know he was there. So I hung out with him and his friend and we had a night out in Barcelona which was great. And let's just say that there are quite a few tasty people around ;-) Despite there being ten of us on holiday it worked out quite well and eveybody seemed to get on well with each other which was great. I got lots of nice photos, some of which should hopefully appear on my photography site in the next week or so.

Bank Holiday Weekend
27 Aug 2002
Hope you're all well and that you UK visitors managed to have yourselves a good bank holiday weekend. I headed up the road to Bonnie Scotland for the weekend and had a brilliant time. I spent all weekend with my family and we seemed to pack as much in as we could. Surprisingly, the weather was gorgeous. There were clear blue skies, and it was lovely and warm and we didn't even get a sniff of rain the whole weekend. On Saturday my sister Tracy, mother, my nephew Aaron and I headed along the coast to North Berwick, which is a small fishing village on the Firth of Forth. We took a boat around the Bass rock, which is one of the largest gannett colonies in Europe I think. Then we all went for dinner in the early evening and back to my Ma's for drinks with my brother and his partner. Then on Sunday Tracy, Aaaron and I drove up Calton Hill and Arthur Seat as it was a lovely day and I wanted to get some photos of Edinburgh. Then Tracy and I met up with her friend Nicki and we went to see The Lady Boys of Bangkok. Which was a camp, drag extravaganza and really great. After that it was down town for some Tapas, copious amounts of wine then I managed to drag them down to the infamous CC Blooms. On Monday it was back down to the Big Smog and I was so hungover that I slept most of the way. So all in all it was a fab weekend. And of course there are a few photos of Edinburgh and North Berwick for your delectation.

New Photography Site
10 Aug 2002
It's finally here - Iain Gilfillan Photography.
I finally got my arse in gear and built my photography site and it's just gone live. I bought my digicam in January and prior to that I hadn't done any proper photography but I've learnt a lot over the past eight months. Any of you who remember my first attempts will hopefully notice that my photos have improved quite a lot. I know I've still got a long way to go and a lot to learn but it's great fun. My next step is to try and learn a bit about indoor lighting and maybe take some nice portraits and stuff of my friends. So if anyone can point me in the direction of inexpensive/makeshift lighting techniques then I'd be really glad. At the moment there are photos from my trip to Rome, London, people and of course plenty photos of flowers (which I think are probably my favourite subjects at the moment). The site will be updated regularly and keep an eye out because the cows are coming!!

It's OK, I'm back now!
30 Jul 2002
I'm sorry chaps, it's been two months since my last update. How very lax of me. But it's okay, I'm back now. Well there's been two significant birthdays this month. The highly-observant amongst you may have noticed my birth date and worked out that at the beginning of this month I hit the big three-oh. So it was waving goodbye to the twinkie twenties, and saying 'oh hello, it's you, well I supposed you'd better come in' to the fruitful thirties. The other birthday was that of this website. It's been up for a year now and it seems to be going from strength to strength. Over the year I've had some really nice feedback and that's the thing that makes it all worth the effort, thanks very much. I've had over 10,000 visitors in the past year (and that's unique visitors, not page hits). During the first month that this site went live I had about 200 visitors but it's now up to 1,200 per month and I'm pretty pleased with that. I've compiled a wee stats page for you (don't worry it's not that boring) and you've got to check out some of the search terms that people used and then found this site, very strange indeed.

My digicam has seen a lot of action recently (steady, not that kind). My current project is to photograph all the cows in London. If you haven't seen any of them around then check out the cowparade site. They're excellent and it's all for charity too. I'm in the middle of designing a new photography site as my digital album is bursting at the seams and soon you'll hopefully be able to see loads of my new photos including the ones from Rome and the Cows.

Oh, and for any of you who are thinking that I look like a bit of a catch, then you'll be pleased to hear that I've now re-opened for business and am re-discovering the joys of being young, free and single again. So bring it on! (*mental note to self: shouldn't that just be free and single, got to start getting used to this being old thing, remember you even have to tick a different box on forms and stuff now).

Rome and Back
27 May 2002
Well what a great, if not very expensive, month it's been. First there was being awarded Boyz homepage of the week. Then there was lunch at the Ivy courtesy of the lovely Kel, thanks, (well, I did pay for dinner at Quaglinos) followed by the mammoth drinking session that lasted from 14.30 til 6am the following morning. My mate James came over from Sydney, where he's decided to settle down, for a few days and as usual it was lovely to see him. Then Kel and I whisked ourselves off to Rome for a long weekend just over a week ago. And what a great wee break it was. It's such a beautiful city and it's way old. I thought London and Edinburgh were old too. We did all the usual touristy things including dinner in the piazza in front of the Pantheon. We both took our digicams with us, but with 260 photos to process it's going to be a while before they make their way onto the site! Then a couple of Fridays ago Kel and I went to see Graham Norton being filmed with my mates Leigh and Glen. We got seats right behind Betty so we thought we were guaranteed to be on telly. And we were indeed, but not because of Betty. Graham asked the members of the audience to stand up if they were, or had ever been, blonde. Well we had all been blonde but needless to say Leigh was the only one to stand up and he got picked to take part in the game. He was well chuffed as he got his 15 mins of fame on national TV and his photo on the show's website. But the funniest thing was that Graham gave him a new nickname which I'm determined to make stick cos it's so funny - he called him 'Galumphie'. Fantastic. And finally to top the month off, last Fri a bunch of us went to see Ms Minogue at Wembley Arena. Here's hoping next month is just as exciting!

Homepage of the Week
06 May 2002
Web fame at last! Last week this site was picked as website of the week by Boyz magazine. Boyz is the biggest, most read, weekly gay scene mag so I was well chuffed when I saw my site listed. The review was very complimentary too. Yeah!! Needless to say I've scanned the article so that you can have a butchers at it.

Free the Walford One!
22 April 2002
Well it's a national scandal, not seen since the day that Deirdrie Rasheed (aka Barlow) was wrongly convicted. Who would have believed it? Our beloved Wee Mo, from Eastenders, is goin' dahn! That hammy bunch of jurors, what with their wrapper rustling and dodgy facial expressions, how could they have found our Wee Mo guilty of attempted murder? Haven't they been watching the telly? We all saw what the poor wee lass had been going through. That Trevor's an evil, nasty man. Oh yes he is. Booo, hissssss! I think we should start a national campaign to Free the Walford One. Write to your local newspaper, write to your MP, but your best bet would probably be to write to the Sun. No doubt they'll jump at the chance for a Free Wee Mo campaign. You can read all about the plight of Wee Mo on the Eastenders website.

Professional Bargain Hunter
20 April 2002
I've decided on a new hobby - Internet Bargain Hunting. I've just recently started and I'm getting pretty good at it, mainly thanks to lastminute.com. I love that site. You've got to check it out, it's great for restaurant and theatre deals and the auction part is quite good too. My recent bargains include: D&G shades £25 (rrp £125), 2 x 3 course dinner at Quaglinos with glass of champage £20 each, 4 tickets to Chessington World of Adventures £10 each (full price £21), 4 tickets to Art £9.50 each (full price £33), 2 x 64Mb digicam memory cards £20 each (£60 each in Dixons). Wow!! And with all those savings I can afford to buy even more bargains. So get your bargain hunting hat on and become a lasminute-dot-comer.

Mad Donna
01 April 2002
I've been hearing rumours that a spoof version of Ray of Light is going to be released as a single and that Madonna is trying to stop it going ahead, I don't know why because it's brilliant. It's basically the lyrics to The Wheels on the Bus set to the music from Ray of Light, and is by Mad Donna. I'm sure a lot of you have already seen this but for those of you who haven't here it is. I've had this listed in my worthy sites section since last summer and it was even a bit of a flat anthem for a while. But I notice that they've removed the flash movie from the website (probably in anticipation of it's release). But fortunately I saved a copy and still have it. You see, I do bring you the best of the web. For some other spoof music visit mothergooserocks.com. Check out Three Pigs, Rubadubdub, Alphabet, Jack and Jill and my favourite, Little Miss Muffet.

South Bank Stroller
Tues 26 Mar 2002
Ever been for a walk along the south bank of the Thames on a Sunday afternoon? It's such a great walk from Waterloo Bridge to London Bridge. It's not too far but there is so much to see and the place is buzzing with people. I went down there on Sunday with Kel, my 'special friend' and we had a lovely afternoon. Needless to say, I took my digicam with me, well Kel's digicam (cos he's got a zoom lens and I haven't, not that I'm jealous or anything). So there are lots of new digipics for your delight. I'll probably put up a few photos of him for you nosey people but until then you'll need to play, "Where's Kel?".

Going Underground!
Mon 12 Feb 2002
Since I got my camera I've been dying to do a session in Westminster tube station so on Sat afternoon I paid it a visit. If you've never been then it's worth the trip. It's on the Jubilee and Circle/District lines and it's such an amazing station. The architecture is fantastic and the lighting is great too. The escalators and stairs are all open and at all points of your ascent you can peer over the edge and look down to where you've come from, it's brilliant. In order to capture the lighting of the place the exposure time on the camera was quite long, and as I don't have a tripod a few of the photos were spoiled by camera shake, but I still managed to get a good few decent ones. I hope you enjoy them.

David Bailey Watch Out!
Wed 23 Jan 2002
Having treated myself to a digital camera for Xmas, I've been swatting up on photography and am getting really into it. All this month I've been dying to get out there with my camera and start taking some pics. So last weekend, I headed down to Tooting Bec Common. It was a gorgeous day and I just wandered around very trigger happy. It wasn't the best time of year to do a photoshoot in the park, but I managed to get a few nice pics. The main thing was just being out there getting some practice. I've also been swatting up on my digital darkroom skills and am now a dab hand at red-eye reduction and in the removal of fine lines and wrinkles. It's so great to have a hobby that doesn't involve the pub.

Here are my first few attempts at photography. If anyone has any hints, tips or pointers about photography I'd be more than grateful to hear them. I'd particularly like to know about cheap ways of doing studio lighting.

Happy New Year!
Mon 14 Jan 2002
Happy New Year from the Boys at Dunghill Mansions. I know it's taken a while for me to post this greeting, but hey, we're three young Scotsmen so we've just got rid of our hangovers! We had a great night on Hogmanay. There ended up being only 5 of us in the end but it was my five closest friends so it was cool. We went up to the Brewers in Clapham for a few drinks then headed back to the flat to catch the bells. We were all well up for it, and the partying continued right through til 9am when we got a few hours sleep and awoke in time to do it all over again on new year's night. Wheyhey! I think we drank until about 9am on 2 Jan. It was a relief to get back to work, I needed the rest. I did take some photos, over 100 in fact, but we are so mingin in them all that only a few are fit for public display. The one above being one of them. Although David does seem to be doing the whole I'm-a-bit-wasted-shut-eye thing. My employer very generously gave me a nice little bonus for Christmas so I've bought myself a digicam and a scanner so it's photo city from here on in. I'm going to set myself up with some cheap lamps from IKEA and a black sheet for a backdrop and start pimping my flatmates from the comfort of Dunghill Mansions.

Ho Ho Ho!
Tues 20 Dec 2001

Santa Gilfillan would like to wish you all a big fat, drunken, debauched Christmas. I expect you to consume copious amounts of turkey (gobble, gobble), bucketloads of sherry and gorge on plenty of cake, fruit cake of course. Remember, if you're a good boy or girl, Santa will come with a large bulging sack and if you're very, very good then you may even get to empty it for him. Think on.
Well I'm off to Bonnie Scotland to spend a week at home with my Ma. No doubt we'll end up drinking vodka with blackcurrant cordial, just like we did last year at 5am when the coke had run out (we'd also had a few vodkas with peach water too). Mother, you're a terrible influence on me. So after seeing the family and hopefully catching up with a few old friends, it's back down to the Big Smog for Hogmanay. We're having a wee party in our new flat. We're going to go out for a few thimblefuls, probably to the Kazbar and the Brewers, then come back to the flat for the bells. I might even screw up my mirror ball for the occassion.
I hope you all have a good one and always remember what Mamma used to say, "Take a drink!!".

Two strapping men and one large van.
Fri 30 Nov 2001
Well it's the sad farewell tomorrow morning when we have to leave our designer apartment on Clapham High St, leave the fourth floor roof terrace and leave the 1min 45s walk to the 2Brewers. How sad. So it's a very early start tomorrow. We have two strapping men coming to help us out at 8am tomorrow morning. That's right, 8am. Believe me, it wasn't me who booked the van. Hopefully the move won't take too long, we're only going up the road to Balham. We had to go and sign the contract tonight and hand over an absolute fortune. We met the landlady for a second time and she's a bit weird if you ask me. She even produced a scrawled set of house rules for us - bloody little dictator. We have to hoover at least once a week, make sure we clean the cooker every week and she even had the gall to tell us that we had to keep the back windows open when we went to work cos she doesn't like the place smelly stale. Bloody cheek. We're paying her to live there, she's not doing this as a favour. I think she's a bit of a lush: she brought a bottle of wine with her (nice touch) and she was fair knocking it back. I think she could probably drink us under the table. I'm quite looking forward to being in the place, not because it's gorgeous or anything, just that I like new places but I'm not looking forward to moving, it's just so dull. Anyway, must go and top up my wine glass and then run a duster over the windowsill.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to Balham we go.
Fri 16 Nov 2001
We've been busy flat hunting for the past week in a bid to find a suitable replacement for our designer apartment. We wanted live as close to Clapham High St as possible. The only problem is that it's so expensive around here and anything that we could have afforded wouldn't have been a complete flea pit. So we opted to move just a wee bit down the road to Balham. I've never been there before but Balham looks like a pretty cool place to live, after Clapham. The flat's in a great location, right behind the tube and train stations, and right behind Sainsburys (map). So I don't have to worry about going through sainsury's-just-across-the-road withdrawal. The flat itself isn't the best but after this place then anywhere is going to look a bit grim. The studenty-ness of the flat is superficial so we can probably tart it up a wee bit. It's a very good size and does have a really nice patio out the back. We move in 1 Dec so it's bag-packing time again.

I'm not bitter, but all men are bastards!
Sun 11 Nov 2001
Been a bit down this past week or so. Why? Because of twatty-pants men (actually, that should really read, boys) that's why. I tell you, if I were a woman then I'd be ripping of my bra, dowsing it in petrol and burning it as an effigy of male self-centred immaturity. Then I'd be hiring a removal van and moving in with that lesbian that smiled at me in the bar last night. But don't worrry, I'll be fine. I'll bounce back, I always do. After all, you know what they say, "don't let the bastards get you down". Because if you do, then you've let them get to you and they've won. We can't have that now, can we? And to top it all off we've been told that we have to be out of our fantasticlaly gorgeous flat by Christmas, so it looks like it's back to living like the commoners that we are. So if anyone knows of any half-decent 3 bedroom places in the Clapham area then drop me a line.

Gran Canaria turns Iain into a complete Disco Bunny!
Wed 10 Oct 2001
Gran Canaria, what a fantastic place to spend the week. I had an absolutley brilliant time last week spent mainly in the Yumbo Centre. It was a week long party. I spent the days either on the beach or in bed recovering from the previous night and the nights were spent in the bars and clubs. I'd get up just after lunch time, lounge around until the evening. Then we'd go out for some relaxed dinner which would then be followed by drinks and the odd cocktail down on the ground floor of the Yumbo. Mainly lounging around in big wicker chairs outside Cafe Latino, which was by far our favourtie cafe-bar (nothing to do with the lovely waiters, of course). We'd then head upstairs to Tubos and Mykonos and that's when the fun would begin. The spirits are served free-pour which meant each one was probably the equivalent of a triple. Yum. At about 2am we'd then head over to XL and drink and dance, and of course flirt, until just after 6am. I didn't once manage to get to bed before 7am. And the place is just hoachin' with some of the most beautiful boys, and very friendly too ;-) If you've never been, then I'd suggest you get your butt out there. Not for the frgid, stay-at-home types who object to their liver being pickled!